now what?

I got a wild hair and started reading my old blog posts. I went ALL the way back. You know what? the thing reads like a diary of "memorable Daniel moments."
So I spent several hours copying and pasting the posts, in order, into a Word document. 126 pages later (in 11 point type), I have a "book" of mom memories. I'm planning to have it printed and bound for the future, just like a scrapbook. Someday I'll love sharing all that stuff with my boy - and blackmailing him by threatening to show it to his dates!
--Misty

What not to do

When talking to your child who is spending the week at Grandmas: "Are you ready to come home?" "Do you miss me?" "I miss you!"
My well-intentioned husband made all these mistakes in one phone call, thus incurring the wrath of grandma as she had to contend with the tears afterward.
Oh, dear.
--Misty

Ups and downs

"I didn't like the ups and downs, mommy," said my boy after landing in Newport News. Safe in his grandma's arms, he called me right away. While he sounded a little shaky, it was pretty much from a bouncy landing.
But a couple of hours at Grandma's house and the flight was just a memory. "I went in Grandma's pool!" he reported that night. "We're going to the zoo!" "I rode the teacups twice!" All reports I've gotten from the boy in his absence.
Then there were the quiet days. "How many times does he watch Cars? Asked my mom. "I only let him watch it once," was my reply, but then, I'm pretty adamant about limiting television time. "I miss you mama," was his lament the next morning when I called from my conference in St. Louis. Oh, baby.
On busy days, he's fine. Quiet days are harder. But grandma reports he's been eating well and sleeping even better, so that's all good. And this morning it was "I'll see you Friday!"
This time, we'll drive.
--Misty

The gift of giving

Faith has learned an important lesson. It's better to give than to receive. Well maybe not really "better" than getting presents, but at least she's recognizing the benefits of sharing. It's not an easy lesson for an only child who has no one at the house to , routinely share toys. But I was surprised how much enthusiasm she had for finding things to give to a 5-year-old girl with little more than the clothes on her back. Faith was scouring her toy chest, closet, drawers and even the attic to collect Polly Pockets, Barbie dolls and other toys. While I see my daughter as always wanting more, it's nice to know she can really do with less. It's obscene how many different dolls have been marketed along with her favorite movies and shows but it's refreshing to know that she is maturing enough to realize there are things she has outgrown. My friend has been routinely giving me clothes her daughter has outgrown, but I have seen her protest some of her favorite clothing items. "That still fits," she would say before her mother added it to the pile when she wasn't looking. When it came to Faith choosing the things to part with, I probably could have come up with a larger sampling for the girl, but maybe not. I get sentimentally attached to things more because of who gave them to me than for what they are. Maybe there's hope for the offspring of two pack rats after all.
-Liz

What a trip

I'm sure Misty's little Daniel is going to have a blast as a big boy all by himself on an airplane. After our recent vacation I asked Faith what the highlight of the trip was for her. The airplane, she said. We flew from Chicago to Atlanta and she didn't even have her portable DVD player hooked up as the battery pack was stowed in Matt's carry-on bag. She enjoyed listening to Radio Disney, munching on pretzels and slurping down a Sprite. Keep in mind this is after waiting at the airport for about 4 hours before we took off following weather delays. It was pouring in Atlanta and by the time we had to wait for a second shuttle when the first filled up before we could get to ground transportation we got home close to 1 a.m. My husband and I both agreed that the drive up to Indiana didn't seem so bad compared to spinning our wheels waiting for planes, trains and automobiles to get us home. Grandpa was attending a convention in Orlando so he picked us up and we drove about 11 hours the first day and about 4 hours the next. Faith whined a little bit at first about the lack of room in the backseat but managed to make herself quite comfortable around the suitcases. She had WAY more room than a tiny airplane seat. On the drive she watched movies back-to-back and didn't start the "how much longer" mantra until we had almost reached our destinations. Grandpa thought it was amazing we hardly ever heard from her during the drive. The magic of movies!

- Liz

Boy with wings

I've made an apparently controversial parenting decision.
Later this month, Daniel will fly, unaccompanied, to my mother's in Virginia. That means I will put him on a plane in Atlanta, a flight attendant will check on him regularly (this is a service the airline offers), and my mother can go through security to pick him up at his gate in Newport News. He'll be the first one escorted off the plane, and she'll have to show the pass the airlines give her to take custody of him. It all seemed relatively innocuous to me; after all he's been flying since he was five months old. And Newport News isn't exactly a big airport - six gates, last I was there.
But everyone I tell (including my husband's family) is horrified. I'm guessing they've never witnessed all the divorced mothers at Christmas, standing in the airport after putting their children on flights to visitation with dad. Or maybe they aren't used to flying. Me - I'd rather fly than drive any distance more than six hours. And with the price of gas, it's now cheaper to fly if you watch for a Travelocity sale. The cost of flying Daniel to Newport News? $69 plus the $25 unaccompanied minor fee. The cost of gas for a 1200-mile round trip? $300 And that's not counting meals on the road.
So he's flying to grandma's, alone. For the airline's sake, I'm sending him with his DVD player, headphones and a selection of movies. He's gotten adept at changing discs and starting the movie on his own. It's a 9 a.m. flight, a time at which he is usually pretty calm. I'm not worried.
But go ahead, tell me what you think. Have I lost my marbles?

--Misty

"Mommy, have we left yet?"

Forget about the "are we there yet" question. Faith hasn't even left for a trip to visit her cousins and she is already counting the days before departure. "Can you believe it's only two days?" she was asking. She has already stacked a bunch of clothes in her room for my approval. I put her off last night, but I won't be able to get away with that today. I imagine as soon as I get home from work we'll have to start packing. The questions keep coming. What will she do on the plane as her DVD player is malfunctioning, how many sets of underwear should she pack, does she have red, white and blue clothing for the 4th? Sometimes I think it was easier when she was a baby and I could control the situation. Now as she grows, she wants more input in her wardrobe and I'm willing to work with her on that. I have made the mistake of letting her pack herself only to find out she left out her toothbrush or other essential item such as shoes and socks. I'm usually not a days ahead kind of packer, but I find I need the extra time now to get my stuff together and supervise her packing. I do have the answer to what she can do on the plane - study spelling words and read. What a novel idea!
- Liz

Why bedtime's such a bear

I hear a lot of moms bemoan bedtime. "It's so hard to get Susie and Johnny into bed at night! They have a dozen excuses for getting back up, and I can't believe how much energy they still have!"
I've put my finger on why bedtime is such a trial. It's not really that the kids are doing anything out of the ordinary, anything they don't do at other times of the day (I mean really, how many other things can your kids find to do when you ask them to feed the dog?). It's that WE, the parents, are tired, too.
By the time bedtime has rolled around, we've put in a full workday. We've put in overtime as wife, mom, chief cook and bottlewasher. We've fed the dog, entertained the kids, answered what seems like five million questions from every direction. We've worried about money and weekend plans, about nutrition and tooth decay. We're ready for fifteen minutes to ourselves before joining the little ones in the Land of Nod.
And they're ready to play.
So we enforce the bedtime ritual. We humor the first couple of calls for "mommy, I need..." Then we get stern. Then we threaten. It's all tears and guilt trips from there. If only their bedtime were preceeded by a powernap - for mom.

--Misty

Bad mom: I ran out of patience

In a takeoff of the ParentCenter "Bad Parent" series in which perants confess their bad behavior, I'm sharing my mea culpa from this weekend.
Somewhere between the humidity, PMS, and the two hundredth "mommy, come look a this!" - I lost my patience. It just flat ran out. "You have a friend over today, Daniel." I replied - not in my nicest tone of voice. "Go play with him or he'll have to go home!"
What's the big bad here? I wasn't doing anything worth blowing my kid off for. I was huddled on the couch, watching a movie my roommate had rented. I didn't know if it was kid-friendly or not (turns out it would have been OK) so Daniel couldn't just stand around in the room with me. I had arranged for his friend to come over because they don't see as much of each other as they did when school was in. Frankly, I had hoped to buy myself a couple of "me" hours. And when I didn't get my way, I got cranky (sound like any three-year-olds you know?). So now I have guilt. I'll wallow in it a little while and Daniel will feel the benefit. I did apologize to him klast night: "I know mommy wasn't much fun today, baby, and I'm sorry." He took it in stride: "Can we go to the Toys R Us tonight?" I'm not feeling THAT guilty. "No, but tomorrow after work I'll take you swimming."
--Misty

Lost in summer

I seem to be on a little motherhood vacation. Faith has been going to Vacation Bible School with a friend each night this week. Because her friend's mom helps prepare supper for the volunteers, Faith leaves at about 3:30p.m. and arrives home later than 9:30 p.m. when I'm already in bed. It feels a little odd not having her around at the house in the afternoon and evening. Today she went to the morning free summer movie with another friend and then will be picked up in time to go to VBS. What a busy girl. I hope she's enjoying her summer. We have squeezed a little bit of reading time into her schedule and one trip to the library. I'll have to really start refreshing reading and writing skills next week. We also bought Daddy and Mommy new bikes yesterday to help encourage Faith to work on losing those training wheels. She's still awfully timid after a bad fall, so if anyone has any tips for getting her back in the saddle please let me know.
Liz

School calendar

I read with a little bit of horror both the news story about State Superintendent Kathy Cox requesting that local school districts push back their start dates and the ensuing "suggestions" posted online from sometimes well-meaning readers.

First, I don't know about all the other moms out there, but I have made arrangements for child care up to the day school is scheduled to start. Push back that date, and I'm left with a certain amount of time to scramble for child care. Now I'll agree that in Houston County we seem to have been inching toward year-round school for some time. I wish we'd just get on with it and adopt a year-round calendar. I'm ready to take the hits for being in a minority there.

Second, there was a lot of chatter about going to a four-day school week. Now I know all the sound financial arguments for that - it would save a fortune in gas and electricity and school lunches. But as a working parent, again I'm horrified. You think my boss is going to let me go to a four-day workweek simply because my kid is out of school on Mondays? Or Fridays? Not a chance. So again I forsee a large number of parents scrambling for childcare. That is, unless some enterprising teachers band together to offer child care. But it can't be at the schools, can it? Because that defeats the purpose of "saving money" by not using the building that day. And frankly, if I'm a teacher and get moved to a four-day week of classes, I'm going to spend that extra day off grading papers, filling out the required paperwork (there's a mountain of it), studying for my own continuing education classes so I can stay certified, and so on. I'm not likely to take on a child care job for my students' parents.

So Superintendent Cox's request left me, and apparently a lot of readers, with much to think about. If you care to continue the discussion in the "comment" section below, be nice, don't tear down anyone else's idea, and don't make personal comments like "so and so doesn't know what they are talking about" and don't bash teachers (that's my own personal pet peeve).

--Misty

Parenting workshop

If you are like me, you aer always looking for something to help you become a better mom. As I am raising Daniel, this one caught my attention:

Parenting the strong-willed child
11 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. tomorrow, Saturday June 14
Southside Community Church
4162 Roy Ave. Macon

Parenting the strong-willed child, indeed.

-Misty

There is such a thing as a free movie

After promising to check on the free summer movies, which took some time, I finally found a reference written by my colleague Rodney Manley in last month's Out & About entertainment guide. I had noticed banners up at Regal Rivergate, but couldn't find the listings anywhere online. I checked the sites of both Amstar and Regal. I was hoping to give you the rundown of movies being shown, but I haven't been able to put my hands on it.
Here's what Rodney wrote - The morning matinee has become a rite of summer for kids - and welcome respite for stay-at-home moms.Two Macon theaters - The Grand Cinemas on Zebulon Road and Regal Rivergate 14 on Tom Hill Sr. Boulevard - are bringing back the midweek movies this summer. Both theaters will feature showings on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.Among the season's offerings are "Over the Hedge," "Ice Age," "Alvin and The Chipmunks" and "Bee Movie." Admission is $2, which includes a soft drink and popcorn.Rivergate will show a G- and PG-rated movie each session of its Free Family Film Festival, which begins next week. Its lineup includes "Night At The Museum," "Pirates Who Don't Do Anything - Veggie Tales," "Evan Almighty," "Shrek The Third" and more. Admission, as you might guess from the name, is free.For more information, call the AmStar at 474-4443 and the Rivergate at 477-8117.

- Liz

"Everyone was Kung Fu fighting"

In the heat of Friday afternoon, Faith and I ducked into the cool movie theatre and caught "Kung Fu Panda." Wow. It seems to be a common occurrence now that when we are leaving the theatre Faith asks if she can get the video. This is one movie I'm looking forward to seeing again. The action sequences move so fast, I'd like to rewind. It was a very pleasant film but on the short side at just 91 minutes. I hadn't done any research into the movie and was surprised to see Dustin Hoffman's name in the credits along with Angelina Jolie. I certainly didn't recognize their voices as I watched but will likely pick up on that the second go around. Once inside the building, I directed Faith to the life-size cutouts of the "High School Musical" crowd. Looks like the gang will be heading to the prom and we will be heading to the theatre to shell out a few bucks to see Disney's mega-movie this time instead of just turning on the TV. Kung Fu Panda is our first summer flick. I haven't seen any listings for the summer movie festival this year. I'm going to research the low-cost flicks and will let you know what I find out. With temperatures in triple-digits already, we're going to need a break. Just one side note to our Kung Fu experience - after I told Faith we were headed to the movie, I kept singing Carl Douglas' "Kung Fu Fighting" song. You know the one - Whoa-o-o-ohhhh, Whoa-o-o-ohhhhh. Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. Yah! Those cats were fast as lighting..." Faith finally asked why I kept singing that and I told her that I thought we were going to hear that at the movies. Sure enough, Douglas' one-hit-wonder has new life in the credits of the film. By the time we got home, Faith was singing it herself!

- Liz

Sew what's new

On Faith's first day of school, I had to go to the fabric store to buy material for a wedding present. She left me to go look at patterns and came back with a precious combination of tunic/pants/dress. Remembering last year's pledge to teach her to sew, we headed to the remnants and found some great stuff. In the past 10 days we have sewn two pairs of cropped pants, a dress and a tunic. Faith assisted in the straight stitching while I did the more intricate trim and pieces. Last year I took out my old childhood sewing machine intending for Faith to take it over but the AC cord was missing when I retrieved it from my mother's attic. Instead, I let Faith practice on my machine by following lines on paper. As with everything as long as she takes her time, she does great. Now that we've exhausted our latest material (which cost about $21 including thread for all four items) we are going to work on last year's pattern. I will make the dress and Faith will sew some shorts and a halter top. It works better if I run the foot control and she guides the fabric. When I was about 12 I learned to sew one summer through a course at the local high school. But now it seems as though the only time I get out the machine is to make a costume or mend something. This time I've really enjoyed myself - except for a very shear knit we bought that gave me fits as it would pucker and I'd have to continually rip out seams. As Faith will likely be at least 6 feet tall, it will come in handy for her to know her way around a sewing machine as we might have a hard time finding clothes long and slender enough. Although now that I also taught her how to bake Seven Layer Bars, we might not need the slender sizes!
- Liz

Mom's failing report card

Faith's standardized test report card gives me reason to celebrate and hang my head in shame. I don't mean I am ashamed of her, but of me. While she more than excelled in the high 90th percentile in math, social studies and science her reading grade was about 40 points lower. That is my fault - totally. If only I had read with her more, reviewed spelling words frequently and insisted we study even when she said she knew the material. While she is of good character, I shouldn't have trusted a 7-year-old with her skills assessment. There is cause for optimism, though. She does retain information extremely well so I'm sure her trouble comes in not recognizing words she should already know. My husband and I did drill her on each week's spelling words and she did well on tests but it's the cumulative knowledge that's tripping her up. Summer home-school is in order. I am pledging to take time to go over all vocabulary and spelling words while we tackle as many books as we can over her vacation. Wish us luck. I don't want to let her down again.
- Liz

Missing Mom

Liz's post about Mother's Day got me thinking about the change Daniel goes through when he hasn't had enough "mommy time." He cries, too. And whines. And acts like he's never heard of table manners.
I can always tell when I've been spending too much time away from my boy - whether I've been out of the house or just too wrapped up in myself at home. For example: my grandmother died this week. She lived in Michigan, and I wasn't able to get there. She didn't want a funeral, so I didn't go afterward, either. But it's put me in a strange headspace. Funerals really are a mourning tool for the living, I guess. And Chris has been home from work early every day this week. So he's been picking up Daniel, overseeing homework, handling the bedtime thing. And Daniel has turned into a complete hooligan.
Now, I'm not saying anything about Chris' parenting, by any means. Daniel has been well fed, clean and his schoolwork has been completed. He has, in fact, enjoyed his daddy time. And Lord knows I couldn't do this parenting thing without Chris. But let's face it, too much testosterone does not a civilized kindergartener make. It turns out my boy needs the downtime, the quiet activities, the strict structure I typically enforce. And I do mean enforce. If left to their own devices, my son and husband will revert to bachelor form. It's not pretty.
So, this weekend, Chris will be working and I will be spending both quality and quantity time with Daniel. We'll do laundry and yardwork, then spend some time painting, most likely. Sunday we have a lunch date with a good friend of mine and her little girl. And by Monday, we'll have our balance back.
--Misty

Mother's Day - Gone with the wind

This year's Mother's Day really flew by. My presents are still wrapped on the table in the dining room. After tornadoes ripped through Central Georgia I left the house at 6:30 a.m. Sunday with video camera in hand. I have only been home with my family in the light of day for a few brief minutes Monday morning. Without electricity, I've been fumbling around at night with little time for anything but getting ready for bed. Sunday night, with Faith already fast asleep, I noticed a card by my dresser. She wanted me to see it that night. With an emergency lantern in one hand and the card in the other, I read: "Winter, Spring, Summer or Fall, You're the best Mom of all." It was pinwheel that dialed around to different pictures of us fashioned in brilliant crayons. It is my masterpiece. Mind you, I'm not complaining about missing out after what I've witnessed in the way of destruction. But I am extremely disappointed for my daughter who had a number of surprises in store for me. We have discussed taking a rain check and a special day will be on the horizon. Before the disaster I had planned to take Monday off to go on a field trip with her. Because school was closed it was canceled without the promise of a makeup day. I told Faith maybe I could make it if they rescheduled before Summer vacation. No such luck. When I got in bed last night and checked phone messages, I heard today was the makeup day so I missed that, too. Faith cried when her daddy told her they reset the field trip for today and I was at work. I called her and tried to explain that it was important for mommy to help the many people who were affected by the storms get information. When I get home tonight I'll tell her about the woman in Twiggs County whom I just interviewed. As the tornado ripped off her roof, she held on to the closet doorknob with all her might with a 2-year-old and 4-year-old with her. It's time to count our blessings.
- Liz

Six Flags offers a deal

Last week I found out Six Flags has dropped their prices for the 2008 season. Something about offsetting the price of gas, what my understanding. And with their debut of a "Thomas the Tank Engine Land," we had been planning to go for Daniel's birthday anyway. So imagine my happy when I went online to find an even better deal on tickets!
I don't know how long it's going to last, but Six Flags is offering all their tickets purchased online at $29.95. That's the price usually charged for kids, and about $20 cheaper than an adult ticket used to be. For roller coaster nuts like myself and Chris, that's too good to pass up. And for moms with little Thomas fans, it makes the trip a little more feasible. Thanks, Six Flags.
--Misty

Suitors already? "Get used to it"

The late afternoon and evening calm as been broken by the sound of the doorbell on recent nights. As our house is up a hill, it's rare someone other than the UPS man comes calling. But lately, the little boys from the next street have been coming to ask Faith to play with them. She eagerly changes out of her "girlie" clothes and scrambles out of the house to go play. It's an adjustment to go from a semi-quiet house to the commotion that naturally comes when three to four young men enter the picture. They are well-behaved boys, but they are still boys. Last night Faith caught me off guard. Because Daddy had meetings Monday and Tuesday, I decided to skip the gym and stay home with the family. Wednesdays are big nights at our house since we discovered "Big Valley" reruns on television. For some reason - likely the lovely Linda Evans in fancy dresses - Faith loves that show almost as much as her father did as a boy (for the same reason, I'm sure). Usually, we all gather around the television as a family to watch before I have to go to bed. Well, Faith made plans to rendezvous with her friends again after supper last night until I mentioned "Big Valley." "I'll have to go and tell them I have to cancel," she said. Later she reconsidered and asked if we could tape the program so that we can view it tonight. When the doorbell rang again, I looked at my husband who said: "Get used to it." I can only imagine how she's going to ditch us when the boys really come courting.
- Liz