Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Sibling stories

When Daniel was born, there were a few brave souls who dared ask me "So, when are you going to give him a little brother/sistter?" My emphatic response ranged from "never" to "that's not really your business, is it?" (I've never been accused of being polite for the sake of being polite) to "when we feel we need another child, we'll adopt."
When he was two, they tried again: "You know, two years apart is a great age spread for siblings!" My response was an exhausted, icy glare.
Now that he's four, there's even more pressure because "any farther apart is TOO far apart." And honestly, I wouldn't mind - if I could have another four-year-old.
Because while some friends are going through the whole up-all-night, dirty diapers thing, I'm thinking "Oh, God, could I really go through all that again?" Because I'm not that good with babies. But I loved Daniel's third year. And four is turning out pretty fascinating, too. I can set rules, and expect them to be followed. I am teaching morals and consequences. I love having him help around the house and yard. He's old enough to be left to his own devices while I cook dinner, but young enough that each day is still exciting to him. He has his own preferences and opinions, but still relies on mom and dad for comfort through new experiences. I love this age - and I'm excited to see him develop through the future. But starting over with a new baby just because "only children" tell me how lonely they were growing up? I just don't know about that.


L. Jaindl said...

I was an only child and didn't mind.....then.....but now as I watch my parents age, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed at 52. My mom's reply to that is that one kid does it all(cares for the parents) anyway so I'm no worse off but I say (to myself) well, it might not have been me!! Also, I didn't have any siblings to send my kids off to when they got on my last nerve. The flip side of that is no kids came to "visit" their aunt either. And if I'm not around on holidays, my parents have nobody, so there's that guilt trip. My sons were 3 years and 9 months apart and for many years were not close at all unless you count strangle holds, but now at 25 and 29 they couldn't be closer and that's what makes me wonder what I missed as an only.

Sonya C. Milam said...

Misti- go with your heart on this one. My boys are 27 months apart which was great spacing. They both were easy babies and are good boys today. October 20, 2004 when Justin was 10 and Conner 8, (and my husband 46 and me 39) I learned I was pregnant. Not happy!!! The whole diaper thing, the up all night, Barney, Burger King playground and play dates with younger moms. YUCK. Since his arrival last year, Matthew however has proven to be our family''s greatest joy. Now people are annoying me when they ask "so, you gonna try for a girl" Of course I just glare at them! No response needed!